why didn't you poke me back
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize