i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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