Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I would fuck him just for his dog
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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