hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
