Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
