If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize