Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
