...so i touched it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
