so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
