I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
