found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I need a beard to bite.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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