I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
