then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
