I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
