Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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