Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
