All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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