We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize