sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
