I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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