Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize