chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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