I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
