His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
