just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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