i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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