what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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