i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My hand turned me down
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
