belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
