My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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