Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
