Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
