it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
