very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
