Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
