If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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