plz talk dirty to me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
