Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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