you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
