I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
