just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have post one night stand depression
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize