Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize