we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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