:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
