I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
