All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
