I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
