He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
where does the pee come out of this thing
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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