Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
