she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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