Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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