does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
