No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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