You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
