Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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