He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
