How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
