You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
