____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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