Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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