so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Come on in and take your pants off
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