This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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