They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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