Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
