oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
