Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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