Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize