have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
