3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
