You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
be right there i have to get my cape
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
