guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
