My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
