im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
