Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize