Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize