I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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