I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Text me some of your sweat
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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