just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
