is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize